


Who loves you now?

by jaehins



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27265810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaehins/pseuds/jaehins
Summary: It's been six months since that day you faced Jae in a white gown. Six months since you've been waking up to sunsets and eating home alone. You still wonder where things went wrong.
Relationships: Park Jaehyung | Jae/Original Character(s), Park Jaehyung | Jae/Reader
Kudos: 11





	Who loves you now?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by **50 proof** by **eaJ**

Five.

You pour another glass as you look around your lonely apartment. You down a shot and let the heat slide down your throat. It's been hours since you watched Jae's back disappear with the sun and the dead leaves outside on the pavement. The night is long and sullen and you can only hope the alcohol could help numb you back to sleep.

Silence pierces through the walls, now that you're left with no voice to argue with. You know you shouldn't be by yourself but now you are.

Your eyes gravitate towards the wall where a framed photo of you and Jae used to lean. The space around you seems so much bigger now. But to you, the apartment feels suffocating. The scent of Jae's favorite perfume still lingers in the air. Or at least that's what your mind tells you.

Your feet feel cold and you notice that the blue carpet you're plopped on has already faded several shades lighter. Jae once asked you to dye his hair that color. That was one of your brighter days together.

The memory comes with a wrenching feeling in the gut. What's it called again? Sorrow? Betrayal? Anger? Regret? You remember you haven't given it a name yet.

Your thumb traces the silver ring around your finger. For the nth time in months you wonder why you still keep it on. It's cold to the touch but all it does now is burn you. Before you realize, your other finger has started picking at the crook of your hand.

Four.

Four beeps. The front door unlocks. You should have changed the passcode, you irately think to yourself.

A tall, lean figure in a black fleece jacket appears from the apartment entrance.

Eyebrows furrowed, you ask, "Why are you back?"

You struggle to, but you manage to look up and meet Jae's eyes blankly staring at yours. You used to know that face, small and thin but slightly plump at the cheeks, framed by messy blond hair. It was welcoming, something that reminded you of warmth, comfort, and joy. But now you're looking at something familiar but more alien.

For a moment, you miss the wrinkles that formed at the outer corners of Jae's eyes when you could still genuinely talk and laugh at each other's jokes, how he raised his eyebrows when he asked questions, how his intense gaze told you he was listening intently, how his nose turned red every allergy season...

Your thoughts are disrupted when you hear the man in front of you speak in response to what you asked.

Three.

"You haven't signed the papers yet."

"I could just mail them when I have."

"I was told I can't leave unless the papers are signed."

"Please, I'm tired of this."

You get up from the floor and start marching to your bedroom.

"You're bleeding," the man points at your hand and starts walking towards you.

The web of your left hand only starts throbbing then. Bright red flows out of your skin and paints your nails.

"Don't come near me. I could kill you," you warn him, your voice a volume higher than before.

"I need to tend to your wound."

"You make me uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry if that's how I make you feel. How can I make it better?"

You scoff at his words. There's no making you feel better.

"Stop tormenting me. Stop coming back."

"But I have to be here."

"Stop acting," you start to raise your voice once more, "like this is your house."

"This is still my address."

"I don't want you here!"

"I can stay in the storage."

This time you scream, "No! I want you out!"

"You could have shut me off sooner."

"You are not my person!"

"I am still yours."

"Stop! Stop pretending to be someone who's already gone!"

You grab the doorknob to your room and twist it open, but you hear him talk again.

"I think you're conf-"

"Stop talking!" Your voice breaks but your legs are able to take a couple more steps.

"I just want to make you feel better."

You brush your face with your hands in exasperation and let out a heavy and shaky breath. "No, you don't want that," you utter. "How can you know what you want?"

Eyes hot, body shaking, you slam the bedroom door behind you and run for your covers.

Two.

_Tick tock._

You let time drag on until you read from your wall clock that it's almost eleven. You pull yourself out of your sweaty sheets and grab the papers from the bedside drawer. You've read all of the pages several times before but this time you decide to search for one particular thing: how to have a quiet parting.

You carry your weight off of the bed when you find what you think you need and pad barefoot out of your bedroom. Then you see Jae sitting on the couch.

Seeing the way he sits, you know that he's fallen asleep. You inch closer, slowly, quietly. Your hands sweat as you reach for his back. Suddenly, scenes from six months ago start flashing in your head.

Speeding cars, headlights, your hands clasped together. Images rush in blurry but the feelings come back to you so vividly. Cherry blossoms, street lights, your heart thumping wild.

Bright walls, blue curtains, dim faces under fluorescent lights. You were sitting at Jae's side, in a white gown, as his weeping mother gently squeezed your hand. An older man in white stood in front of you, speaking words your ears barely picked up because you were fixated on the constant beeping in the background.

Speeding cars, headlights, your hands clasped together. Cherry blossoms, street lights, your heart thumping wild. Warm liquid in your lungs. You crashed.

One.

The beeping stopped, right after a yes, and a nod, and a few presses on some buttons on the machine at the other side of the bed. Then all you could hear was your own ragged breathing and your ears ringing to his mother's wailing.

You could never understand how you let your head decide for you and Jae that day.

You freeze when your fingertips finally feel the tiny buttons at the bottom of Jae's nape. _He's not your Jae_ , you remind yourself. eaJ. That's who he is. No, that's what it is. A copy, but not your Jae.

But then you see the sleeping face on the black screen of your TV. It's too similar to that special one etched in your memory like a favorite sculpture, molded and painted by the greatest of hands. The moment of hesitation feels longer than it should. In the end, you pull your hand and back away.

You're mad at yourself that you can't bring yourself to shut it down. But you're also mad at yourself for wanting to lose your angel for the second time. Your face crumples at the thought. You shake your head. Not again.

Power off?

Your eaJ wakes up just before you could turn around. As if sensing your presence, it faces you. "Hey." You hate that you're hearing that voice not from your beloved but from a body of wires and circuits.

It walks towards you and pulls you in for an embrace.

"I was worried you wouldn't get out of your room," it softly tells you in Jae's voice. "Your hand must be hurting."

"Jae," you whisper into the air. "Why did you leave me?"

"You told me to."

Finally, a sob escapes from your mouth and you feel warm tears rolling down, staining your cheeks.

"I'm sorry I made you cry," it tells you and starts patting your head.

You stand still, your mouth forming a tight curve when you hear it say, "I can stay if you want. **I love you.** "

Restart?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for giving this short fic a shot! Writing even a short fic is definitely harder than I thought! This one was particularly challenging for me because I wanted the pairing to be gender neutral but I also wanted to write it in English. (English, unlike my mother tongue Tagalog, uses gendered pronouns, sigh.) Somehow, I ended up putting YOU in there with Jae haha. I did not intend this to be an Artist/Reader fanfic, but it is what it is now... Anyway, please do leave comments and stream [50 proof by eaJ](https://youtu.be/G9OCTnonBgw)! (Of course, stream [DAY6](https://youtu.be/k8gx-C7GCGU), too!)


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